Values are deeply held beliefs that direct you when making decisions, how you treat others, and how you generally behave. While they say that opposites attract, you should seek someone who share the same values.
The Importance of Factoring in Values
When you and your partner are in sync, you know, understand, and respect the matters that are important to the both of you. It’s a beautiful harmony that increases your chances for relationship success, especially if you’re looking for a long-term partner with a potential for marriage.
For instance, if you grew up in a religious family, you should look for someone who understands your traditions and beliefs. This is also an excellent time to ask yourself what is a godly woman or man. Potentially, having similar values may help minimize conflicts, set realistic expectations, and keep the relationship healthy and happy.
In contrast, being in a relationship with someone who has different beliefs and interests can be quite a challenge. You need to be flexible and open to learning how you can keep the relationship alive and develop a lasting bond in the midst of your differences.
Dating 101: Values to Take Note Of
Most people might have a long list of general qualities and specific interests they want in a partner. While this can serve as a guide, you shouldn’t make this as a definite list to spot ‘the one.’ Understand that you can’t tick off every attribute in one person.
Despite this, there are a few, concrete values every person should take note of when it comes to dating and looking for the right person for you. These values may help you eliminate the guesswork and narrow down your choices to prevent disappointments and heartaches.
To show you, below are three practical values to look out for in a potential romantic partner.
- Trustworthy
If you skim through nearly every blog post on the Internet, you would discover how trust is an essential component in developing a strong and lasting relationship.
Trust in a romantic relationship isn’t just about transparency and honesty. It’s also about having a sense of security that you can share anything, express your true self, and be vulnerable to your significant other without the fear of judgment. It’s the foundation of deep friendship, which helps build other lasting values, such as openness and honesty.
When trust is present in a relationship, you feel safe and encouraged to communicate your emotions, hopes, and fears. When your partner is able to respond and satisfy your needs, this value can be strengthened in the relationship.
Finding someone trustworthy is also critical, especially in long-distance relationships. You never know when you and your significant other might find yourselves in this arrangement.
You need to have trust with your partner that you both can conquer problems that comes with the geographic separation in case. When trust is built and nourished before you live in various regions, it helps you gain peace of mind and eliminates the doubts that can most likely prompt fights and miscommunication.
Hence, as you put yourself out there and meet people, talk about how their past relationships went, their thoughts about trust, issues they’ve had with it, and the like. While trust can be built over time, asking these questions ahead can help you see whether or not this person values trust in their relationships.
Moreover, gathering all these information is practical, especially if you have trust issues in the past. You would have to make sure that your next partner should be someone who understands your dating history and that would never make the same mistake again.
- Openness To Feedback
If you’re dating someone who tends to avoid difficult conversations in the first few months of the relationship, chances are, this behavior can continue to manifest in the entire duration of your bond. When you’re in a relationship, you can’t expect to stay the same or have your way all the time as you have to adjust and cater to your partner’s needs.
Take note that if someone is unresponsive to change or feedback, there would be no growth and improvement in the relationship. Potentially, this can result to stagnancy and growing tension between the both of you. This can be a problem, especially if you plan to move in together.
With all these, make sure that you’re dating someone who values openness and is willing to talk things out. It might be quite uncomfortable; however, by making this as a practice, you’ll both be able to become natural at giving and receiving feedback lovingly.
- Sensitive
Sensitivity or the ability to extend empathy toward the feelings of others is a crucial value you should look for when dating. To be sensitive, one must need to learn to pause, to listen, and to respond.
While this can be easy and natural for some people, others have a difficult time envisioning themselves in another person’s situation. Some individuals would tend be dismissive, reactive, and hostile, especially if you start to spill the beans to them.
Likewise, it can be quite sad to know how others can’t have the luxury of time to stay put and to pay attention to other emotions, particularly those who are always busy juggling different responsibilities.
Making time to actually listen, understand, and identify where people are coming from is a gift not everyone is capable of. Similar to being trustworthy, empathy is a skill that requires to be honed over time.
In a world where some are only on the lookout for their self-interests, find someone who is kind enough to offer empathy not only to you but to others as well. This may keep you secure that your partner will be able to determine and respond appropriately to your needs and feelings.
This may also tell how most likely your partner can detect whether or not you’re comfortable or are being honest. This is important, especially during times when you can’t help but hide your true emotions to avoid distress and conflict. In cases like this, it would be ideal to have someone who encourages you to communicate your feelings and be more open.
Final Thoughts
Dating can be a trial-and-error process for most people. However, by having a set of values in mind, you may be able to increase your dating success and meet the right person for you. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and enjoy the process.